In a world full of harshness, it can be hard to be gentle. Especially when it comes to parenting. We are constantly bombarded with messages about how we should be parenting and what is best for our children. It can be easy to get lost in the shuffle and end up being a parent who is stricter than we intended. But there is hope! There are ways that we can practice gentle parenting, even amid a chaotic world.
What is gentle parenting?
You may have heard the term “gentle parenting” before but aren’t quite sure what it means. Essentially, gentle parenting is a parenting style that is characterized by empathy, communication, and respect. It is based on the idea that children are human beings with their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions – and that they should be treated as such.
Gentle parenting is not necessarily a new concept. Still, it has gained popularity in recent years as more and more parents are looking for an alternative to traditional authoritarian approaches to child-rearing. If you’re wondering if gentle parenting might suit you and your family, read on to learn more about this unique parenting style.
Practicing gentle parenting
If you want to practice gentle parenting, you can do a few things to get started. Here are five tips:
Be patient
When it comes to parenting, patience is definitely a virtue. Every child is unique and will develop at their own pace. It can be tempting to compare them to others or push them to reach certain milestones, but ultimately this can be counterproductive and create unnecessary stress for both the child and the parent.
Instead, try to enjoy the journey and offer gentle guidance rather than trying to control every aspect of your child’s growth and behavior. This approach can lead to a healthier, more positive parent-child relationship in the long run. And hey, it’ll also make life much less stressful for you as a parent! So take a deep breath and remember: patience is vital in gentle parenting.
Be supportive
Gentle parents practice a non-judgmental and supportive approach to parenting. Instead of harshly critiquing your child’s behavior, you offer understanding and encouragement. For example, if your child shows interest in music and arts and tells you that it’s something they want to pursue, a supportive parent would be more likely to encourage their child’s interests instead of trying to dissuade them. You would even help them find preparatory schools for college that focus on your child’s talent and helps them develop it.
Conversely, if your child desires to quit school and pursue a different path, a supportive parent would work with their child to figure out an alternative plan that works for everyone involved. The goal is to always be supportive, no matter what choices your child makes.
Find natural punishments and rewards
Instead of searching for outside consequences, gentle parenting encourages finding natural punishments and rewards within the situation at hand. For example, if your child refuses to clean up their toys before dinner, the natural punishment could be not being able to play with them during dessert or after dinner.
On the flip side, maybe your child finishes all their chores without being asked. The natural reward in this scenario could be extra screen time or choosing what movie to watch as a family that night. While it may take some creativity and practice, finding these natural consequences and rewards can lead to more thoughtful and practical discipline while teaching children about cause and effect.
Encourage independence
One important aspect of gentle parenting is encouraging independence in our children. This doesn’t mean pushing them to do things on their own before they’re developmentally ready, but rather striving to give them the confidence and information they need to navigate the world confidently and navigate their emotions effectively.
It means letting them try new things, making mistakes, and learning from them. It means giving them opportunities for autonomy and agency in decision-making within appropriate limits for their age and development. Helping your children develop independence sets them up for success as adults and strengthens the parent-child bond as they feel capable and valued.
Communicate openly and honestly
One of the foundations of gentle parenting is open and honest communication with your child. This means being transparent about your emotions, desires, and expectations, as well as actively listening to and understanding your child’s perspective. This kind of communication helps build a strong trust and understanding between parent and child, leading to deeper connection and more cooperative behavior.
It also encourages children to communicate openly, fostering healthy emotional development. Of course, this doesn’t always come easily at first. Like any skill, it takes practice and patience. But the benefits are well worth the effort for you and your child.
The bottom line
Parenting itself is hard and can come with a lot of challenges. But by practicing gentle parenting techniques, you can make it a little bit easier on yourself and your child. Try to be patient, supportive, encouraging independence, and communicative. The most important thing is to be present, attuned, and responsive to your child’s needs. With some trial and error, you’ll find what works best for you and your family.